Wednesday, July 03, 2002

listening to The Juliana Theory- If I Told You this was Killing Me Would You Stop


It's practically 100ºF today so I camped in front of my AC all day. Doesn't seem like it's working... There's been like 2 blackouts today, in 2 hours I think. Ugh, the weather better improve or else I'm gonig to die. I didn't want to get cooked alive today so I stayed home, and who knew I'd miss out on a lot? When I went on AIM, Lia filled me on on everything that, um happened. Jason twisted is wrist, Kyle & Juliana got back together, Vanessa is going to Cal-- hold up a minute. KYLE AND JULiANA GOT BACK TOGETHER??? Ok, it feels like I'm missing something. Since when did this happen? Just a week ago when Jason mentioned her name, Kyle went ballistic. They broke up a few months ago because she "screwed up". He never really told anyone what she did but all we know is that it's not good. Yet it doesn't register to him that she might do it again. Kyle could be an real ass at times, but Juliana is really trashy and trampy. Lia refers to her as the "garbage can" or the "trash bag". She really is one and she should stay away from him. Lia told him that but he thinks that she should get another chance. I'm not being close-minded by saying she don't deserve another chance, but I know her. She's just going to do the same. Of all people I'd expect Kyle to know, but I guessed wrong. I'm not going to split them up or anything, but I'm going to watch her. That girl can't be trusted, and it seems obvious. She's so trashy, everything she says sounds like a story. It comes to a point where you can't trust shit she says. She also twitches when she says stuff, like she's hiding something. Kyle thinks we should give her a chance and let her come around. Fine, I will but I'm not trusting her nor becoming her trash can for the trash bag. If she thinks we'll become that close, she underestimated me.

Monday, July 01, 2002

listening to Papa Roach- She Loves Me Not


I don't get people sometimes most of the times. More than half the people I know has this urge to trash you out. Of course there's people I dislike and talk about sometimes, but some people trash you out or disses you for no reason. Is there something so bad about you that someone needs to trash out? Just because you're different, people treat you like shit or look at you like you're garbage. What's so bad about being different? If everyone was the same, this world would be boring and unoriginal. Just because I act different than my sister, my mom always trashes me out. I just don't like spending my time studying and couldn't care less if I got a 70, so what? I just don't take school too seriously, my life don't depend on it. I asked my mom if I could get sk8boarding lessons, but she gives me a look as if I'm on crack. She tells me to take piano lessons, like my sister. I used to take piano lessons, but I got sick of it. I told her I was going to hang out with Lia around Sheepshead Bay, but she asks me why I'm not going with my sister. Duh, we have different friends. My sister told my mom she's cooking at Sam's house so my mom asks me why won't I learn to cook. Because it's boring and not something I like to do. Before I left, I told my mom I'm leaving. She gives me one look and said, "you're going out like that?!?" She told me why won't I dress more normal like my sister. When I come home (around 4 or 5) I go online and look at some clothe stores. I asked my mom if I could get a Element t-shirt and a pair of UFO pants I saw and my sister said it looked like shit, along with my other clothes. My mom agreed, as usual and then bitched about how I don't wear half the clothes she buys me. That's because she picks them out and I hate them. They're clothes my sister would wear. Then my mom makes me and my sister go to the restaurant to eat. When I go there, I didn't know what to eat since I eat the same shit all the time so my aunt said that if I don't know what to eat, then don't eat at all. So I told her that I might do that. Then the phone rings and she told me to pick it up since it was next to me. I told her to pick it up because I don't work here. When she got off, she bitched at me for not picking it up but I snapped at her and told her she works here, so she should do her job. Then my sister bitches at me and tells me stop giving everyone an attitude and what's my problem. My problem is that she's always a bitch to everyone, especially to me. Eversince I can remember my aunt was always a fucking bitch to me, if I try to be nice to her she'll always diss the living shit out of me for no reason. If I'm not being trashed out by my family, I'm being compared to my sister. I'll never be like her, and I don't want to. I like being who I am, and they'll just have to accept me for that. If they don't like me like this, tough shit. But hey- I never asked to be born and it's not like I asked them to trash me out eversince i was little. Maybe if they didn't treat me like shit, I wouldn't be like this.

Sunday, June 30, 2002

listening to Our LAdy Peace- Somewhere Out There





I love that song anyway and Linkin Park is my fav band lol. I didn't realize how long I didn't blog until I logged into Blogger. I was either too busy, too lazy, or nothing good to blog about. Summer is boring so far. I spent yesterday watching South Park lol. I wanted to watch Destroying America but it won't work on my VCD palyer. Grrr... I might go hang out with Lia tomorrow, depending what time she gets out of her Bridge program. This blog is pointless so it's going to be short. Btw, if you know any good movies to download, leave a comment.

Wednesday, June 26, 2002

listening to Ozzy Osbourne- Flying High Again



I AM FINALLY OUT OF THE HELLHOLE!!!!!!!
I always hated my school, it's just my friends I like. This was probably one of the best years out of the 3, even though it was really chaotic. The year went by really fast, probably because of some much junk happening like the 911, my cat dying, the 6 kittens dying one after another, Laydiana's dying 2 weeks ago, family problems. When I think about that now, it makes me wonder how the fuck I got through all that shit. At first I wanted to go to 8G but after seeing how many of my friends changed, I didn't. I guess 8H was kinda cool... Anyway, me, Sarah, and Cynthia went to Coney Island to go on some rides. It was fun overall, but at first Sarah got a nosebleed. Sarah and Cynthia went on the Powersurge, a ride that hangs you upside down. When the ride started moving, Sarah got a nosebleed and she told the guy to stop the ride. He just told her to hold on, or he didn't hear her. When the ride flipped upside down, the blood started pouring down and she was screaming hysterically. I heard her screaming but I didn't know what it was. I think the blood dripped on the guy, because he finally stopped the ride. They took her off the ride to clean up and everyone was watching. It's like they never saw a nosebleed before... When her nose stopped bleeding, we went on a water ride. At first, we were considering going home but she said she felt fine. Then we went to eat and went on a few more rides. We were about to go on the Cyclones (after I said I'll go) but the line was really long. Around 2 something, we went home. When I got home, I had a headache from the rides so I went to sleep. That's basically my day, except I need plans for tomorrow. That's the bad part about summer, I went to Kingsplaza practically every damn week. I'm getting sk8boarding lessons, which is good. Yay!! My mom said if she sees I'm actually not going to drop this and not kill myself yet in a month, then I could continue. That's not hard, I just get pissed when Kyle asses me out when I fuck up. If he's not around his friends he's nice, but if they're around he's a real jackass. Anyway, Brendan (Cynthia) wrote this up and I completely agree with it all:

tips for preps

1- stop wearing all that stupid glittery make up that makes you look like a whore that tries too hard.

2- lose the slutty clothes, it doesnt make you more popular, and it doesnt make guys like you more. all it does is make you look easy, which you probably are anyways. have some respect for your body!

3- popularity isnt everything. just because you dont have quite as many friends as the most popular girl in school, doesnt mean you arent good enough. and anyway... anyone who is friends with the most popular girl in school... is either trying to bang her, or wants some of her popularity.

4- try being nice to people once in a while. there wont be so many people that hate your guts that way.

5- just because someone looks different that you, doesnt mean they arent just as good as you, just as nice *or nicer* just as smart *more likely smarter*. why dont you give someone that looks different a chance, you may find that they are one of the nicest, smartest people you will ever meet. unless, you were a complete bitch to them in the past... in which case they may not bother to give you a chance. you may think that's not fair, but hey. you're the reason they're not giving you a chance in the first place.

6- get rid of all those stupid britney spears and shakira cd's, they suck, and besides, they're only pop stars to sell you fashion. why don't you give some other kind of music a try, before you say it sucks and its 'freak' music. try listening to kmfdm, or infomation society, or even just nickleback or default. or yes, what about koRn or marilyn manson? they have some of the most original music i've ever heard. not to say that some pop singers arent good as well. i also do enjoy ashanti, and like that vanessa girl. and some jennifer lopez. so dont just tell me that i'm only saying that cuz i like koRn and MM, cuz i like other music too.

that's all for now... i was just fed up with everyone assing out 'goths' and 'punks' because they're preps and think they're better than everyone else... so i decided to ass them out too. for what it was worth. *shrugs* bye.



I agree with what she wrote. If anyone gets offended by that, sorry but it's completely true. I didn't write it though. Just because you're punk or goth, you get treated like shit and people see you as bad. Most of my friends dress punk or goth and preps look at them like they're shit. It just gets me pissed. I hate it when they look at you as if you're nothing but shit. What makes them better than you? It just shows how close-minded and messed up our society is. K, that's all I have to say...

Tuesday, June 25, 2002

listening to Tool- Schism



Tomorrow is the last day of school, yay!! I finally get out of this hellhole I hated for the past 3 years. I hated the work and most of the teachers, but the atmosphere is kinda nice. It's mostly my friends that made it that way. Today was boring as usual since most of my friends weren't here. I basiclaly hung around Renna, Oluchi, and Joe. They split us by cluster, then by last names. My class had the boring people, not my friends. So I went to the other class anyway since there's not a lot of people. None of the teachers cared anyway, and Mrs. Donahue was 1 period late lol. Joe was jumping around the tables trying to do some ollies and shit, without a sk8board lol. I basically played Bullshit, War, and Spit. Joe kept on bugging me to play Black Jack, except I didn't want to. We basically hung around each other until Lunch and he stole my M&Ms /= What's weird is that I started getting closer to people i barely spoke to before. Me and Renna were close in 6th grade but then we kinda drifted. We started talknig again today and there's a lot I found out about her I never knew. That's weird how you get close to someone you don't talk to a lot, 1 day before school ends.

Monday, June 24, 2002

listening to Nirvana- Come As You Are



I finally went back to school, which I haven't for awhile. There's really no point, except hanging out with your friends for the last time, getting autographs, and for report cards. I had to take my Spanish proficiency exam. I fell asleep for one of the oral questions so I ended up guessing on it lol. The essays weren't that hard. My pen ran out of ink in the middle of it lol. If I was allowed to use green ink, that wouldn't have happened. I was supposed to go to the KoRn concert today but I didn't have anyone to go with me and I needed someone old enough to go in with me. I could've asked Kyle since he looks old enough but he didn't want to. He likes KoRn but he wanted to go skateboarding instead. He goes to Chelsea practically every damn day, yet he can't spare 1 day to go with me to a concert for 4 hours. Ugh. That's why he pisses me to the extreme sometimes, he'll do anything to piss someone off. He knows he could go sk8ing anyway, but he won't go on purpose. I could've gotten front row tickets too. What an ass. Louana could've took me as well but she hates KoRn. I was forced to talk to "him" today because I had to ask him something. I'm not saying who it is, due to nosey people. I got a foward a few days ago about some story where someone dies, and never told someone they liked how they truly felt. In the end, they asked this question: "Is it better if the one you love knows how you feel and don't feel the same way, or if the one you love never knew how you felt?" I have to pick the second one...

Saturday, June 22, 2002

I'm at Vera's house right now. She, Sam, and Louana are all watching some movie except me =P I woke up at 11 something to get everything to Raymond's house for the BBQ. All a waste of time... We got everything there but they were waiting for a shitload of people to come. We just sat there until Louana said to get the grill ready. We went outside but their grill was dirty and there was a lot of fungus growing too. She decided to clean it up and when she was half way done, Quan came. He started bitching that she's cleaning out "the flavor" and it took him years to do that. I don't think that fungus is flavor... Then we wanted to get the drinks cold but there was seaweed and beer in the icebox. We had to clean that out as well. In other words, me, Vera, Sam, and Louana did all the work. Quan just did the cooking. Raymond and his friends just sat on their asses, drank, and ate everything. I knew I shouldn't have gone... We finally left since it was boring so now we're in the AC (= That basically sums up my day. I need to go get presents for my friends tomorrow and I might go by Chelsea for awhile.
Wheeeee!!! It works (= The last time I used Blogger, it fucked up so I got pissed and gave up. It's kind of a re-opening of Rockstar, don't know if anyone still remember it. It was hosted at diamond-sky.net months ago. I'm going to blog here once in awhile, and whenever Hosturbo becomes a bitch. Anyway, my prom was on Thursday night and it sucked ass. I hated it and it was really boring. I never got to dance with the guy I liked. Oh well, I pretty much give up on him. We're splitting for high school anyway and he'd never see me the way I want him too. I'm tired so I'll blog tomorrow. Btw, I'm looking for a host so if you want to host me, email me (=
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